Writing a Perfect First Contact Message

Finding an interesting person to contact is challenging enough, but writing that perfect first contact message is even worse. The thing is, it's actually not that important that your first contact message be absolutely perfect.

Some people write funny, quirky messages, and others just send a simple "Hi." All you have to do is express interest and be yourself. Everyone's first message is a little different but if you follow these simple tips, you'll do just fine.

Relax!

The more you build it up in your head, the harder it's going to be to write. Remember that the odds are you're going to be writing a lot of these messages during your online dating days. Half of the time you won't even get a response back but that's no reason to give up - that's how dating is for everyone!

If you keep those things in mind, you'll write your first message with more confidence and less trepidation. As long as your message doesn't send a bunch of stalker vibes, it won't be that bad.

Be Yourself

I know, I know you hear this stupid saying everywhere you go, but it really does apply here. If you try to put on a front, it will rarely fool anyone, and even if it does get someone to respond to you, they'll figure out your true personality at some point.

The whole point of dating is to find someone who appreciates you for who you are. You want to find people who have things in common with you so don't be afraid to be yourself. Have a little fun with your message and joke around if that's your style.

Use their Profile

Look at that person's profile and find something that catches your attention either because it's interesting or because it's something the two of you have in common. If you pick something out from their profile, your message will almost write itself.

Again, it pays to be yourself. If you make an obvious stretch to find something you two have in common, it will show sooner or later. Pick something that might not be as common for two people. What I mean is, don't say something like "Hey I noticed we both have blue eyes, wanna chat?"

Let Your Profile do the Work

If you can't think of anything great to say, just write a simple message to that person and let your profile take care of the rest. Something like "Hi! Your funny profile caught my attention so I just wanted to drop you a quick line. Write back soon!" might not be the most original but it gets the point across.

At the very least, that person will check out your profile and possibly see something that catches their attention. If not, that's no big deal - just move on to the next match.

Everyone Strikes Out - Don't Worry!

Look, I don't want to ruin the party but you need to go in prepared: you're going to experience a lot of initial contacts that aren't returned. Just go in expecting it because it happens to everyone. Whatever you do, don't take it personally - people don't respond for all kinds of reasons that don't have anything to do with you.

Dating is a numbers game, plain and simple. You can always tweak your approach to improve your odds but you'll never get a 100% success rate. Just keep working at it and eventually you'll find the right person.