Calling an Online Match

Making the first phone call to someone after meeting them online can be an intimidating experience, but it'll go great if you two are compatible. The best way to control that nervous feeling is to remind yourself that the other person wouldn't have agreed to talk on the phone if they weren't at least somewhat interested in you too. It also helps to remember that the other person is probably just as nervous as you are. Use these 8 tips to make the first phone call a success:

Tip #1 - They're Nervous Too

The person you're getting all worked up over is probably just as nervous as you are for the first phone call. If they didn't like what they've seen so far, they wouldn't have agreed to talk on the phone with you in the first place.

If they are interested in you, they will be nervous too. So therefore, you can almost guarantee yourself that the other person is equally nervous. For some reason, that simple fact will help keep your nerves under control

Tip #2 - Nerves are Normal

Don't feel bad for being nervous on your first phone call. These are funny, awkward situations for everyone! It's funny when you think about it. We build it up in our minds days in advance but when the actual phone call occurs, it's never as bad as we imagine it will be.

Tip #3 - Keep an Eye on the Clock

Let the other person know in advance that you can't talk for a super long time, but that you are still looking forward to the phone call. Keeping the first phone call short will prevent you from stammering on after 30 minutes have passed and you've run out of things to talk about.

Knowing that you don't have a long time to talk will also serve to relieve some of the pressure you're feeling. If the conversation ends up going great and it progresses naturally, don't worry about any artificial time limits.

Tip #4 - Listen and Ask Questions

Remember, you're not on this phone call to impress the other person with your conversational skills. Well, I guess you are a little bit, but remember that the primary objective in the first phone call is to learn about the other person. Ask questions about where they are from, what they do, and where they work. Those questions will lead to follow-up questions that will help you keep the conversation going.

The only thing you want to do is here avoid rattling off questions like a drill sergeant. Make your questions be conversational, and be truly interested in the other person. People like to feel interesting so let them know that what they do is interesting to you. On top of that, good listening skills are highly valued in potential mates.

Tip #5 - Smile

Believe it or not, people can hear smiles over the phone. If you smile while you talk, you'll sound like you're smiling. It sounds weird but it's true - if you have ever worked at a job that involves lots of phone time, you've probably heard this before.

Smiles are contagious. The more you smile, the more the other person will smile and the next step is laughter. You'll both feel more comfortable and the conversation will progress much more naturally than if you stand there like a board while you talk on the phone.

Tip #6 - Stand Up and Talk Slow

Standing up will make your voice sound better. You don't want to pace around in circles, but if you're standing up, your voice will come across more clearly and sound deeper. Also make a conscious effort to speak slowly. When we get nervous, we tend to sound nervous by talking faster. Take a deep breath and speak slowly so the other person can understand what you're saying.

Tip #7 - Recall Past Conversation

By the time the first phone call comes, you've probably already exchanged a few e-mails or instant messaged each other online. The things you've already talked about are great conversation starters because they are things you can both relate to.

Look for things in the other person's profile that you both have in common. Interests and hobbies are great topics to bring up. Those alone will keep the conversation going smooth. Just don't reach too hard to have things in common - they'll know when you're reaching.

Tip #8 - Have a Specific Objective

Don't hang up the phone without setting some sort of follow up contact. Preferably make that follow up contact another phone call or a date. If you're going to ask for the date, do your homework first and have something specific in mind. You'll want to find a public place where you can both meet and feel comfortable. Whatever you do, don't include a movie on the first date.